“If you are not making mistakes, you’re not doing anything.”
John Wooden
In writing The Journey of an Old White Dude in the Age of Black Lives Matter, I drew on my life experiences as well as a tremendous amount of reading and research. I also talked to many people, Black and White, about the issue of race in America.
Since the book was published in 2023, I have continued to read about and research these issues. A common theme I hear from Whites is that while they want to do the right thing and become a positive force for social justice, they struggle to find the courage to take the next step to do something concrete and meaningful. Given the increasingly fraught nature of the issues at hand, it is scary to go out on a limb in any meaningful way. Speaking out, asking questions, or putting themselves in situations where they might not be in the majority might open the door for them to be criticized or “called out” if they misspeak or misconstrue a situation. In other words, they feel there is risk involved.
Like virtually every other White person, I’ve made mistakes and made disrespectful or poorly thought-out comments and assumptions. I have been called out for them, and rightfully so. If being called out increases my understanding of how my words or actions were out of line and caused others pain, I want to know so I don’t do it again.
Perhaps I am naïve or simply lucky, but all those times I have made mistakes, POC have always been patient and gracious in pointing out my errors and providing me the space and grace to contemplate those missteps and adjust my behavior accordingly. In other words, due to such goodwill and kindness, the perceived risk is far less than you might imagine.
But let’s talk about real risk.
How about the risk that enslaved Americans faced when considering escaping from a plantation to head North for freedom? Think of how horrifying that must have been. They risked men and dogs in pursuit and the possibility of capture and return. A return that invariably led to being whipped and tortured or hanged or even burned to death, all depending on the mood of the plantation owner/enslaver on that particular day.
Yet hundreds, perhaps thousands, did it anyway. It is a testament to raw courage and the fact that the urge for freedom and equality is something that cannot be suppressed. It is fundamental to human nature and existence. And how about the risk that Black Americans faced every day in the Jim Crow South? Even today, every time POC get stopped by police, they face tremendous risk depending on the mood of the policeman on that particular day.
Being a force against racism requires lifting your head up out of the sand to confront your biases and shortcomings. It can be pretty uncomfortable. But let’s be clear. The “risk” that us White folks face around this issue is minuscule compared to the risk Black Americans have faced for over 400 years in simply living their lives. So, we must overcome our white fragility and fear of risk and muster the courage to do something meaningful rather than merely talk about it.
We are all somewhere along a developmental continuum relating to issues of race. It is a lifelong journey. But as with any journey, taking those first steps requires a leap of faith and the trust that if you make a mistake, at least you are making an honest effort to do something to try to make a difference. And when those mistakes occur, you must trust that better angels will provide you the space and grace to learn and do better.
In other words, if you trust in peoples’ better angels, you will find that the risk is well worth the reward.
